Yesterday, I was driving around the city with a beautif warm sun shining. It downed on me of the luck I had. I wasn’t stuck in a windowless office doing something I was not passionnate about. Instead, I was out exercising in the company of dogs. I was able to build my own schedule for a part of my week. My health have benefited from this new adventure plus it added to my life. Both my mind and body are experiencing some changes. Positive ones that is. I feel energized and my mind is in a calmer state. I have alot to do with the planning of this extra activity. It’s totally good for me. The less time Ihave to feel guilt and remorse, the more I can rest my mind. I felt at peace for the first time in a while.
My focus over what is important to me is more defined. I have less time to spend over what may be wrong in my life. It’s easy to pay attention to the negative when I have too much time on my hands. As much as I can get comfortable in a routine that stays the same day in and out, my soul thrive with a little bit of change here and there. It brings a certain motivation to troubleshoot certain aspects of my life. Finding options to what seems quite gloomy to start with is helping me cope and feel less trapped.
I’m slowly spending less of my time giving importance to what others think of me and desperately trying to be perfect. I can’t please everyone and it’s sometimes hard to come to terms with it. It’s the same for me, I don’t like everyone and everyone don’t like me. That is what makes the world a variety of differences. Trying to live to be perfect and avoiding all the mistakes is unatainable. As perfect as the others lives appear on social media, it’s not. Everyone has their struggles. Ups and downs are a part of the reality of living. Someone was telling me about not having their life together. That they were admiring me for having mine in order. I was in shock. I really really don’t consider having anything together. It made me realize that it’s all about perspective. The way one portrays themselves out in the wild society.
In the past years, I have tried to be more confident about myself. To be confident about the future and to loose the fear of what may happen. To be confident in my ability to problem solve my issues. I have worked hard to not be a victim of my circumstances. I’ve learned to take the time to feel the emotions on the moment and then do something about it. It can be to chase it away because there’s nothing I can change or to seek a solution, get myself back together and figure something out, a solution. It might not come rightaway but something always comes. I’m thinking that this way of living brought that confidence about me that makes me appear like I have my life together.
Although things are about as smooth sailing as they can be right now, they are notperfect. I have chosen to give less importance to those imperfections and to focus on the positive things that are going well because there are way more of the later than the first.
I’m currently living an unfinished dream. It took me years to be there. It might take me a few more to get further and make it bigger. I’m working hard to keep my eyes on my goal. Its easy to say “If only I had…”. I must remove myself from that sentence and bring the ” what can I do with what I have” instead. It’s more productive and in the present. I must stay there, in the present. That doesn’t mean not having an idea or a rought plan of where I want to go. Because plans changes unexpectedly, having a good idea is plenty good. It allows me to stay in the present being able to enjoy what I currently have. It’s all a work in progress but I’m worth the time spent on my growth.
Bike in Time 